Bishop David deFreeseBishop David deFreese
Nebraska Synod, ELCA

“Love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.” - Romans 12:10

The woman on the radio just declared to the talk show host that she was “embarrassed to share the same human race” with him. Harsh statements seem to be more and more prevalent.

Recently in our local newspaper, a man wrote in questioning the insight of having children name the new elementary school. There was a rough edge to his statements. A few days later, a fifth grader replied, and although I agreed with her understanding, she went for the jugular when she wrote that she was “offended by the ignorance” of his position. She did not just disagree, she wanted to hurt him … probably because she was hurt.

A husband and wife are having difficulty in seeing their relationship from the same perspective. Words stated are not used to gain common ground, but as weapons to wound and to gain power. But the question is, “for what purpose”? Don’t they realize that the moment they get into a “winning or losing” mode … if one of them wins, they both lose!

Bashing … name calling … labeling … seem to be used more and more in our conversations and in our relationships. Disagreeing with a concept has turned into demonizing another person.

What has happened in human relationships that we cannot just disagree without attacking? Are we so insecure that we have to win? Do we have to prove our worth by putting others down? What is gained by divisiveness?

Do we as Christians … people who strive to follow our Risen Lord and Savior … react any differently? What is Jesus’ claim on us and on our words and actions?

“Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay insult for insult, or abuse for abuse; but on the contrary, repay with a blessing. It is for this that you were called—that you might inherit a blessing.” (1 Peter 3:8 & 9)

As followers of Jesus … we are to be different!

One of the most important times to be loving is when you feel the least like loving. The time to draw on your reserves of patience, kindness and compassion is when you are the most displeased with another person. Obnoxious or attacking behavior, many times is a cry for help and understanding! Hurt people hurt people. It is a way of expressing the frustration of not feeling truly loved and accepted. There is wisdom in the words: “a gentle reply turns away anger.”

Differing perspectives can be heard and dealt with, in hopes of clarification and action for the good of all. Disagreement offers the opportunity for new, creative solutions. Diversity of understandings can sensitize us all. Anger can be positive, if it is energy for necessary change.

When we respond as listening people, in calm, gentle ways, offering an un-anxious presence in the midst of difficulty, good can come. Attitudes and behaviors change. Harshness becomes softer, and personal, emotional integrity is shared and kept.

Christ calls us to be different! May you continue to bask in the glow of God’s resurrection power and may God Easter in you so that we are different!

Blessings!

Bishop David deFreese

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